In our everyday lives, we often operate and react on “auto pilot”, either out of habit or reflexively because we have been activated into our fight/flight/freeze survival response system.  In this way, we are often unaware of the intentions or motivations behind our actions or speech...a position which leaves us with little ability to choose to engage in our lives from a place that truly aligns with our values or heartfelt intentions.

Mindfulness is essentially a practice in which we notice and "press pause" on our “auto-pilot” mode of moving through our lives, and instead, very purposefully and consciously attend to the present moment, with qualities of curiosity and interest - and without judgment. It is human nature for judgment to show up automatically in almost every experience, in the form of "I like this"/"I don't like that" or "I want this"/"I don't want that".  And it generally moves us very quickly out of the present moment, and into thoughts about how to push away or hold onto our experience.  As poet and author, Stephen Levine wrote, “Normally, we scratch before we itch. Our actions arise beyond awareness of what motivates them”.

But we can develop the capacity to pause and observe the motivations that precede our words and actions.  As we practice slowing things down and making space to simply be present to how our experience is unfolding moment by moment, we have the opportunity to witness how our habitual thoughts and emotional reactions arise, as well as how they unfold into particular actions, behavioral impulses, or words.

Mindfulness allows us to hold one piece of our experience up to the light, one at a time.  It allows us to take our time to really get to know and understand each piece.  We may then begin to see how several different pieces (thoughts, emotions, body sensations, or impulses) may relate to one another...how they arise, how they feed or suppress each other, and how they either contribute to or reduce our suffering.  That information then can often guide us towards wise actions or choices - choices that lead to the reduction of our suffering or those that at least do not exacerbate it. 

By practicing mindfulness, we can train ourselves to notice and widen "the space between stimulus and response".  As Viktor Frankl's famous quote illuminates, when we have the ability to pause and observe that space, we have the opportunity to observe our intentions (what Sharon Salzberg calls "the about to moment") and to check out whether it is in line with our values and with what we truly wish to cultivate in our lives.  If not, we can consciously re-set our intentions and course correct - we may need to do this many, many, many times - and this is why the practice of mindfulness truly must be paired with self-compassion in order to be sustained.

Mindfulness-based and Compassion-oriented psychotherapy, helps clients to cultivate skills in mindfulness and self-compassion and apply these skills to the difficulties they are facing in their lives.